A Promise Made
by Sunny Hunny
Summary: One Shot. It's Christmas time in the Three Broomsticks and Lily remembers the last time she spoke to James. Can she find him to tell him how she feels before it's too late? Complete.


**A Promise Made**

It was three days before Christmas, and the Three Broomsticks was packed with witches and wizards taking a break from their last minute shopping. In one corner of the pub at a quaint little table for two sat Lily Evans and her date, a man that she had met at the Ministry for Magic. He had been two years ahead of her in Hogwarts, had been prefect and Head Boy, and now was slated to become the next Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. It was ironic really. He was exactly what she had always looked for in a boyfriend – smart, kind, handsome, ambitious – and she couldn't stop thinking about James Potter.

She hadn't spoken to James since Hogwarts, but she caught brief glances of him once in a while. She knew that he was working as an Auror now, along with Sirius. Remus had told her that much. She had been keeping in touch with him since about a month after they graduated. She had been in Healer training, and he had come in after a particularly rough full moon. They now sent letters every once in a while and got together to chat about once a week. Yesterday had been their weekly get together, and the topic had been the one and only James Potter.

She had actually thought of James quite often since leaving Hogwarts, but he had never really invaded her thoughts the way he had for the past twenty-four hours. Ever since Remus had told her that he was going on a raid today and that they expected Voldemort to be there.

She thought back to the last day that she had spoken to him. She could recall it perfectly, and it was one of the saddest memories she had.

It had been an extraordinarily gloomy day, with grey storm clouds poised over the castle and sheets of rain colliding with the roof. It seemed fitting to her that the weather should match her mood. After all, leaving the place that she had called home for the past seven years could not be anything but depressing. She remembered pausing on her trek to the carriages, turning and staring up at the castle, trying to memorize exactly the way it looked on this day. Then Alice had come and tugged on her sleeve, and she had sighed and followed her friend to their carriage.

The Hogwarts Express had been more of the same. She kept getting the urge to touch everything as she walked by. She actually did caress the bench that she was sitting on at one point, but then Alice had given her a perplexed look and she had stopped. She turned to stare out the window, watching the countryside as it flew by, but it was hard to see due to the stormy weather.

That train ride had probably been the quietest she had ever experienced, although she could hear the younger students laughing a few carriages down. Almost all of the seventh years seemed subdued. And it felt like the ride had hardly begun when the train pulled to a screeching stop. She felt like she was floating by the ceiling, watching her body as she walked around the train notifying the students that they had arrived at King's Cross Station.

When all of the other students had been notified, she wandered back to her own compartment to gather her belongings. Since no one was left, she indulged herself, allowing her fingers to briefly graze the walls and the window before sighing and exiting the train.

The platform was chaos, full of parents looking for their sons and daughters, and children, excited to tell their parents and siblings all about their adventures of the past year. Lily almost looked for her own parents before she remembered that they were on a vacation in Australia with Petunia and her boyfriend.

She would be alone at home for the next few weeks until they returned, but for right now, she couldn't bring herself to leave. It was bittersweet to watch the families being reunited, knowing it was the last time that she would be here like this, but she couldn't tear her eyes away.

She still stood there alone an hour later, when everyone had gone home, and even the train had long since left. She thought that she was the only one there until she saw, down near the other side of the platform, James, Sirius and Remus talking. Remus, sensing her gaze, looked over to find her staring at them, so she lifted her hand in a wave. He waved back, making the others turn to see who he was looking at. She gave them a weak smile and then looked away, so she was surprised to find James standing in front of her moments later.

"Hey, Lily," he said once he had her attention.

"Hey." There was so much that she wanted to say to him, but she didn't really know how to put into words how she felt. She didn't know how to thank him for being such a great Head Boy despite her low expectations of him. She didn't know how to thank him for being her friend when she had needed it the most. She didn't know how to tell him that every time she saw or spoke to him her heart seemed to jump into her throat, and she didn't know why. She didn't know how to tell him that it hurt too much to say goodbye to him, that she didn't want to say goodbye because she couldn't imagine not seeing him and talking to him and laughing with him. So instead she just stood there staring at her shoes while he stood there staring at her.

Finally he sprang into action, dropping his pack onto the ground and pulling out a small scrap of paper and a self-inking quill. She watched him write down an address and phone number before he folded up the paper and put the quill back in his bag, slinging it back on his shoulder.

"Keep in touch, okay?" he said, handing the paper to her.

She nodded, trying hard not to tear up, then could do nothing but watch as he smiled and bounded off back toward his friends.

But they hadn't kept in touch. She hadn't had a phone number to give him, and she always felt too awkward to call him. And now it was more than a year later, and she hadn't spoken to him once. And thinking about him made her heart jump into her throat just as it had back then, only now she knew why.

"Are you even listening to me?"

"Hmm?" she asked, startled out of her reverie. Her date gave her a pointed look and she grinned sheepishly. "I'm sorry," she said with an apologetic look. "My mind is elsewhere."

"Your heart is elsewhere."

She flinched at his bold words, and she was almost insulted by his audacity, but she knew how true it really was, and so she simply nodded. "Am I that obvious?"

"Yeah," he replied with a sympathetic smile. "You look so forlorn, like he's about to slip through your fingers. Don't let that happen."

She smiled at him and joked, "Forget the ministry. You should be a psychiatrist."

He laughed lightly and got up to go, but she put her hand over his, and he looked at her. "Thank you," she said softly, and he nodded and then walked away, leaving her to her thoughts. She needed to find James and tell him how she felt, and she really wanted to do it before he went off to do anything dangerous, but she didn't know where to begin looking, and it was nearly sundown so the raid would take place very soon. She felt completely helpless, and all she could do was pray that he would make it out alive.

And then she spotted him, among the throng of patrons waiting to find a seat. But he wasn't waiting like they were. He was trying to push his way through them, trying to leave. She couldn't even be sure it was him, as she could only really see the back of his head, but she could sense in her heart that it was.

"James!" she called out, but it was so soft that no one except a couple almost right beside her even turned a head. She stood up.

"James!" she called again, louder this time, but still to no avail. A few more people briefly glanced her way, but no one paid her any real heed since she obviously wasn't talking to them. She was becoming frustrated, now doubting her initial instincts, but she couldn't let him walk away until she was sure that she had the wrong person.

This time she began to run and push her way through the crowd, trying to get closer to him so that she would have a better chance of catching his attention. "James Potter!"

This time he turned, and she stopped and stared at him as he looked for the person who had called his name. And when he spotted her she knew, because she saw the look of disbelief on his face. She smiled shyly as they made eye contact, but he was so close to getting out of the pub, and she could tell that he was fighting an inner battle: lose more time by fighting his way back through the crowd to talk to her or get out now.

He was still halted in place, and she knew that she wouldn't blame him if he walked out right now, left her standing there staring at the doorway where he had been only seconds before. But she begged him with her eyes to come to her, to let his heart win this battle instead of his head. This might be her last chance to speak to him and she wouldn't give it up without a fight. She needed it.

Finally he heaved a great sigh and began to make his way back to her, and she could have sobbed with relief. She tried to collect herself, though, began to go over in her head what she needed to say. She knew that she needed to keep this conversation short, as much as she wished that she could draw it out.

He was next to her sooner than she expected, and all of her thoughts became a jumbled mess once more. She knew she had to say something or he would give up and leave, but she just couldn't make the words come. Finally, she managed to mumble a soft "hello."

"Hi," he replied just as quietly, continuing when it seemed that she wouldn't, "How are you?"

"I'm okay…How are you?" She inwardly cursed herself for making small talk, but she couldn't bring herself to discuss the real reason she needed to talk to him. It was so terrifying, so difficult, and she wished she had more time. She had barely come to terms with it herself. But she knew that she couldn't wait, and that she had to find a way to say it.

"I've been better."

She looked down, wishing that she could take away the war, wishing that he could be the carefree boy she knew in Hogwarts. But the war had made him grow up too fast, just as it had to all of them, especially since entering the real world. She knew that, but she loved him for it anyway. "I spoke to Remus yesterday."

"Yeah?" he inquired casually. Again she was silent, wishing she could remember the words she'd rehearsed over and over last night, unable to sleep. He waited for her to speak, trying to be patient, but he was in a hurry and she didn't seem to have anything to say. "Listen, Lily, I really have to go. It was nice to see you, though." He gave her a smile and turned to go, but she wasn't finished yet. She hadn't really even begun.

"James, wait." He stopped and turned around, looking at her questioningly and yet impatiently. "He said that you're going to a raid today…said that _he_ might even be there."

"Who, Remus?"

"No…Voldemort."

"Lily, I can't tell you–"

"I'm not trying to find out where you're going. I'm not going to follow you there. I'm not even trying to stop you."

"Then why –"

"There's just something that I can't leave unsaid."

"Can it wait until later? I really have to go."

"I love you." There. She had said it, but now she could see the confusion in his gaze, and she knew that she had to continue. Besides, his silence was making her nervous. "I'm sorry that it took me so long to realize it. But you're going to a raid and you might not come back, and I just couldn't let you go without knowing…"

It seemed like ages that she was standing there, looking at him and trying to gauge his reaction, and him, staring at her as though he had never really seen her before. And then he was in front of her, close enough to smell his scent, a scent that she hadn't smelled since the days of Hogwarts when he sometimes lent her his cloak or a sweater, a scent that she hadn't even realized that she had missed. He brushed his hand against her face, closing his eyes and memorizing her features, and when he opened them again, she could see so much love in their hazel depths that she needn't even ask how he felt.

After a moment, he bent down and brushed his lips against hers in a kiss so brief and yet so full of emotion that she was brought to tears. He kissed them away, and then he pulled her as close as he possibly could, turned toward her ear and whispered, "I'll come back, Lily. That's a promise."

Then he was gone, and, despite being in a crowded pub, she had never felt more alone.


End file.
